Is It Ever OK To Date Your Ex’s Friend?

Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend’s ex. They wholeheartedly believe that it’s wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they’d never talk to that person again. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they’re just following the rules. What I’ve noticed, though, is that every person I’ve heard espouse this worldview was straight. This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities. If you’re gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend’s ex at some point. Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you’ve found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life. It’s difficult to meet people you’re romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city’s queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight. Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.

True life i’m dating my best friend’s ex paris

A close friend, 32, dated a woman for eight months, then broke up with her. Three months later, I began dating her after hanging out with her in groups. I told my friend my intentions. Is there anything I can do to salvage our friendship? What am I not seeing? Is he a toxic bachelor?

Someone else or not only to date her best friend, but i m assuming a hot. Ouch oh My best friend, several years, your friend’s ex-girlfriend? Friendship.

And how do you navigate that new relationship without causing issues? You dated someone for years, then mutually agreed to break up. You had a FWB situationship that kind of just faded out. Now, you want to start dating their friend. Still, you want to do so as kindly as possible — aka without breaking any hearts or jeopardizing any friendships.

Is it necessary to have the talk? Also yes. Jess, 28, failed to tell her ex that she was going to start dating her friend, and it ultimately backfired. If they are, consider splitting the load. She recommends speaking separately with your ex in order to make them feel most comfortable sharing their feelings. He felt that before anything happened between us, he should talk to my ex about it. So he brought it up, and my ex gave him his blessing.

I wanted you to hear it from me first.

7 Crucial Rules for Dating Your Friend’s Ex

But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place — maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead. Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care. Two men talking on a walk iStock. Woman apologizing after an argument iStock.

Furthermore, Dr.

My Ex is Dating My Friend is a blog post about how to handle that situation and Here was a woman who I thought was my good girlfriend. I’m so so sorry.”.

Sign up for the Divorced Girl Smiling newsletter to receive weekly articles that might help you during and after your divorce! I seriously felt like I was going to go insane. Here was a woman who I thought was my good girlfriend. We had gotten together a few times and I had told her things—personal things about my ex and our relationship, why I was getting divorced, etc.

I shared things with her and trusted her. Weeks later, I saw my ex leaving her house. It was like a stab in the heart. Not really because of him, but because of her. Utter shock and disbelief. I felt stupid.

My best friend is dating my ex crush

Whether or not you believe your situation is friends exception, you should always talk to your friend before making any crucial decisions. Unless your value your relationship with a guy more dating your friendship, dating that your friend may not be thrilled you want to start dating her ex. On the other friends, it friends matter to your friend or even yourself, so tread carefully if that’s the dating you’re choosing to take.

Better yet, if she’s in another relationship and is seriously in love, it’s doubtful she’ll care too much your you want to date her ex. Her hesitation is for a good reason.

If your friend says it’s ok, it usually is. But there are lines that perhaps shouldn’t be crossed. So when is it really okay to date your friend’s ex?

My current best friend was also my high school best friend. Her high school boyfriend was a close family friend. After graduation, she knew that he wasn’t her forever, and though it was hard to cut ties with someone she’d shared her life with for the better part of her high school days, she stepped out on faith and ended things. That was three years ago. Since then, she’s found her forever. She’s found the one whom her heart loves, and they’re set to be married a year from now.

She was there to support me through every heart-ache, failure, and Chinese food binge, and she continues to be a treasured confidant.

You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right

Friends often are attracted to the same type of men. In fact, Chicago seems tiny when my friends and I compare notes about the men who have crossed our paths. Therefore, I believe it’s always best to make sure that the man you’re pursuing isn’t a friend’s ex. Off-limits rules are tricky.

But we’ve worked hard on our friendship, and I’m confident that it works He is my ex-boyfriend who has a new girlfriend I knew nothing about.

For as long as you can remember, society has rolled with this mentality and relationships have been guided by this rule. Affections have been snuffed out, crushed before blooming by this brotherhood and sisterhood code. It is considered a betrayal of trust, an awkward situation and a friendship deal breaker. But really, does it have to be like that? I have always thought that the reasons often given to justify the existence of this decapitating rule are not enough.

People who support the motion that exes should be off limit to friends say it is uncomfortable, could impact the friendship wrongly and as earlier said, it is a prime example of the cruelest types of betrayal.

Is it ever OK to date your friend’s ex?

Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Communication is vital if maintaining the friendship is important to you. Indifference is the opposite of love. A good way to gauge this is by suggesting an outing where your friend and their ex will both be present.

If you suspected your friend and your ex were interested in each other I’m over it now, so if you want to talk about him, I don’t mind. Don’t tell your friend that they aren’t allowed to date your ex.

Pat Benatar alerted the nation of the state of love when she compared it to the heavy artillery and dirty bombs one faces in a war. But do you think the idea of my body being metaphorically blown to smithereens stopped me from dating not one, but two yeah But this isn’t about Peter fake name , Jessica fake name , or even Mothra Blurgenstein shockingly, actual name — kidding!

From the lips of relationship fuck-ups and our resident sex sociologist, Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, here is what you should and shouldn’t do while dating the ex of a friend. What kind of ex are we talking about here?

Can You Date A Friend’s Ex?